SAMPLE SCENE 2 Packing scene - 2nd attempt

This is the 2nd attempt at filming the scene where the tennis player's partner (Cathy) is leaving him



CHANGES

• Much more set dressing:
• tennis equipment is placed throughout the room
• photos of the couple and the tennis team have been added for verisimilitude
• female beauty products and jewellery were placed on the surface in front of the mirror
• stereotypically female books were placed on one side of the bed, and stereotypically male ones on the other
• the wardrobe was changed so that there is a clear divide between men's and women's clothes
• a larger suitcase that is more realistic for a permanent move
• Character creation had more detail:
• we prepared a business suit (black trousers, smart shoes with modest heel, shirt and a blazer)
• and a long, smart looking coat for when they leave the house
• a watch, something teenagers do not usually wear
• modest make-up (lip gloss and mascara)
• More directing for the acting:
• there was more demonstration of the actions (e.g. wiping the tear away)
• there were issues in following direction with the actress previously playing the tennis player's partner (saying she felt uncomfortable in front of the camera) so a change in cast was a good idea
• new shots:
• close-ups of the set dressing
• shot of the suitcase being slammed onto the bed so that we can attempt an almost match cut from the joggers foot landing on the ground
• 
  

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FEEDBACK

• Genre/target audience:
• the people we asked all though it was aimed at teenagers, though one though the target age would up to 20 - this could be because the lead of this scene is played by a teenager, though we have gone to a lot of effort to dress the character so that they seem older
• Improvements
• the sound editing has clear issues - make the ambient sound quieter and the music louder
• the lighting got mixed reactions - one said it seemed good, the other not realistic
• we did use the lighting to create some shadow on the face of the lead as she wipes a tear to show the gloominess, but the rest is the lighting we had available, which is the natural lighting of the room
• Positive feedback
• everyone said that the music fit
• there was no confusion as to what the narrative was - it was clear that she was leaving
• no one said the set dressing seemed posed or unreal - it fits in
• the genre guess was never far for accurate, but we did not expect teenagers to be able to guess if it was a social realist film

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